How To Be An Explorer

I just got this book and so far I'm loving it. When you start working and paying bills and all the other boring stuff it's easy to forget how much fun it is to be an explorer. When I was a little girl, I loved grabbin my lil brother and trekking through the woods and investigating. We did some pretend games but for the most part we were just looking around at trees, plants, leaves, flower, etc and seeing what there was to see.

In third grade I did learn a valuable lesson about exploring and that when you want to press leaves and flowers to be sure an not collect poison ivy. And that its never a good idea to rub leaves on your face, even if they feel good.

My third grade picture has the proof since I developed poison ivy in my eyes and all over my face. Things like that do make you a little more wary of exploration. I went from climbing trees and swinging on a rope swing non stop to rarely going outside. I don't know what happened really but now it's one of my favorite things to do. Get a backpack with some water, snacks, camera, and a friend and just stroll through the woods and see what there is to see. This book is great too because it's not just about the woods. It's just a reminder to take the time, slow down and notice all the beauty around you.

I love the author. She has a great view of life and the simple pleasures. She's an artist that doesn't make you feel like you could never do what she does. Instead it seems most of her work focuses on how to inspire you instead of of impress you. Check her out. http://www.kerismith.com/newtest.html I've got a couple of her other books too so just let me know if you want to borrow one.

Books, Books, Books

I read lots of books. Strike that. I go through spells of reading lots of books. Then I stop and can’t bare the thought of reading and can just barely manage to look at pictures in magazines.

I have 3 library cards. When I go, I usually pick out 5-20 books depending on my mood. I realize I’m not going to read them all within 2 weeks. Bentley reminds me that I’m setting unreasonable expectations when I come out with an arm full. I think I just like to have them in my apartment. What I love about library books is that you don’t have to read them all. You can start to read it and say, “YuK! No.”

When you buy a book, at full price, you are making a commitment of time and money and can only hope it’s going to your next great read and you are going to read it. Period. Many times I have been disappointed. When I’m in a book store I start to feel the crazy vibe and I want them all. There are times I have to stop, put them back and make notes of what I would have liked to buy and find it at the library instead… if I can remember.

I usually go to the library with 1 book or author in mind. I do the little hunt on the computer and I’m disappointed 2 out of 3 times. Then I just walk the isles and let the books jump out at me.

Another issue is when I read a book and a few years later much of it’s lost in my dementia. I start a book just to realize by chapter 3 that I know the ending. It got so bad with Patricia Cornwell that I have just given up. I’m done with her and really I can’t handle any more serial killers hunting her anyway.

I have tried to catalog the books I read so I can remember authors I like, make notes about books so I can remember them and so I can stop checking out or buying the same book again. It would also been nice to keep up with the books I have in my apartment to read verses the books I want to read so I stop having duplicate copies.

My friend Raphaël is always making suggestions, which I appreciate. He believes it his responsibility to assist me in building my culture and character since I’m one of those Americans that can get sucked into the Twilight series, and how sad is that. So he sends me lists and prioritizes them. He has also been known to buy me books – science fiction, classics, mystery, etc. He knows I’ve missed out on some good stuff due to not going to college, living in US and being overwhelmed by pop culture, my disinterest in researching new authors/books, and sometimes just plain ignorance. He is really good about picking the ones I will like. You know the one where the woman is not completely sane, has too much testosterone and superhero strength (mental and/or physical). He likes to set the stage to get me interested. Like “No Name” by Wilkie Collins. He knew that I would love Magdalen and her crazy self and the fact that this book was not well received in its time because at that time people didn’t enjoy reading about women that were independent in spirit or evil in nature. He was right, I loved it.

If you are thinking, “What does she mean because she is American, etc.”. Don’t get me wrong, Raphaël loves the American authors and much of the culture. It is a fact though that he has turned me on to some authors that are just not as well known here and I need help.

One of the Raphaël suggestions I read freaked me out and then I had to watch the movie and yep it was good but scary, icky, nasty – Perfume: the story of a murder, by Patrick Suskind. To pick a word: disturbing. But I liked it. Jean-Christophe Grange is another author I like that I would have never known about. I’m not suggesting anyone run out and pick them up since I must warn you that Raphaël loves incredibly disturbing books. He tries to keep it light for my benefit but his stomach is stronger than mine.

His most recent suggestion is Stones Fall (Iain Pears). I receive an e-mail from Random House telling me about this book. I go and find this book in the library. It took me a month, but I leave the library feeling all proud that I am 90% sure I found the book he was talking about b/c I forgot my note with the name and author.
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Here is the e-mail exchange:
Nov 2, 2009 - Raphaël: You have received an email from a friend about a Random House book!
Their message is:Currently reading this and loving it.
Title: Stone's Fall
Author: Iain PearsCategory
Fiction - Historical; Fiction - Mystery & Detective; Fiction

December 12, 2009 - Kelly: I think I got it. I found it at the library - I'll start it this week so I'll let you know when I make some progress.

December 12, 2009 - Raphael: You think you've got it? There's a simple way to be sure: check the cover. If you can read "Stone's Fall" on it, then that's it.Anyway, I finished it a couple of weeks ago, and it's a stunning piece. The plot is absolutely air tight.

*********************
Yes his sarcasm does not go unnoticed.

I found an old file from years ago when I tried to do little book reviews. Now looking back at them I can only laugh. Yep, it helped me to remember the books. I’m going to share a few of the reviews. I only share the endings on the following because seriously, do not read these books. This is for entertainment purposes only:

Watermelon (?)
Claire’s husband, James tells her right after she gives birth that he loves Denise and is leaving her. So she has the nervous breakdown and heads home to Dublin to stay with family. Meets a guy named Adam and eventually does name her daughter… Kate, after her grandmother. After she sleeps with Adam, James comes to visit. Lots of internal, female on the edge, monologue. It’s called watermelon b/c she wore a green overall outfit when she was pregnant and looked like a watermelon. She started exercising and drank mainly vodka for 2 months and so she did lose her baby weight. This one pretty much hurt. I don’t know why I didn’t just stop and I’m not sure how a book named Watermelon ever ended up in my home.

Tulip Fever (Deborah Moggach)
Sophia is married to an old guy that wants a son. He hires a painter to do her portrait and she falls in love with the artist. They decide they can run away together with the promise of selling a huge tulip bulb. It was a time period in Holland that tulip bulbs were the rage and very expensive. Great news, they gave their bulb to a guy to sale for the $. Bad news, he got drunk and ate it. Yep, he thought it was an onion and come on now, really, he was drunk and hungry. It had a side story about the maid having an affair and in the end there was a baby for the old man to raise. Someone got what he wanted. Ok this one was not that bad but I hate books (and movies) with bad and/or disappointing endings, no matter how good they may be.

Shutter Island (Dennis Lebane)
Teddy and Chuck are U.S. Marshalls on an island investigating a mental institution. Weird stuff going on and a bit scary, it’s like you start to hear the music and feel like someone is going to jump out at you. Teddy realizes something is terribly wrong and that he and Chuck need to get off the island. The escape plans are in full throttle when Teddy realizes Chuck isn’t who he says he is and then Chuck disappears. It’s hard to know who is crazy the doctors or Teddy. I guess one interesting thing about the book is you really don’t have a clue until it ends. So, it was great that you didn’t know till the end that he is a psyche patient and they are roll playing, trying to get him to remember his wife killed his kids and then he killed her. Ohh, Just that. He remembers for a short time and they think they’ve got him in reality, but the very last he goes back to wondering how he and his partner Chuck are getting off the island.

Don’t you just love when you invest in a book and then get to the end and turn the last page and think, “Really.” By reading the little reviews above, you can see why I like to have others read, screen, and research on my behalf. I get distracted by the pretty book covers.

When you read a lot you are going to read some great stuff and some really bad stuff. At what point in the story do you just stop and say ENOUGH? I obviously don’t know but I’ll keep on trying.

Maybe I’ll share some book reviews on the ones I love in a future entry. Wouldn’t that be peachy?

The C Word

No not that bad C word - the other bad C word. For some of you everything requires an explanation.

OK getting on with it. Cancer. Sucks. I first felt it when I was a kid and another kid friend of mine did not survive leukemia. Cancer was around but then when I was around 14/15 I became friends with a girl that was 18 at the time but had breast cancer at 14 and she survived until she was in her 30's. More time went by and there were others but my Aunt B was the first in my family to be diagnosed and we were all kind of stunned. My boyfriends mom had colon cancer and passed away last year and caused cancer became a lot more real to me and honestly cancer pisses me off.

This year my mom was diagnosed with lymphoma and in many ways it's still doesn't seem real to me. I want to keep it that way so please feel free to skip all the examples of people that you know that had lymphoma and their experience good or bad. I do the same thing but it gets really old after a while. My mom has done great to warn people off sharing too much it's all too overwhelming and usually negative. I go looking for encouragement some times but people are crazy with all that - my sister's, best-friend's, aunt had lymphoma and yadda yadda yadda. Get a life.

This is the first time I've heard about someone with cancer not having to have surgery and treatments and I again want to keep it that way. Mom is having to learn to not only survive cancer but to live with it in her body for the rest of her life. It's never going to go away but it seems to be in a state of silence.

Instead of torturing her without much results they have found that in many cases a person with her TYPE of lymphoma can live their normal life span without treatment. It's all very weird to me but her numbers and exams are supporting that she is stable. And so we all just keep going forward and let it slide away from the front of our minds and at least for me, I am just hoping that if we don't give it too much attention it will just stay still and quiet and leave us all alone. I know it doesn't slide away from my mom's mind so I hope she will talk about it whenever she wants and not avoid it because no matter how good bad or ugly cancer is we can all handle it and as long as it plays nice, we'll play nice but if it starts to get ugly we will get ugly right back - my daddy taught me that and it really does come in handy.

If the worst fear is fear it's self then just decide that you can kick anyone or things azz that gets in your way and it's funny how brave/stupid you can be. You can quote me on that.

So yeah I was just with my mom over the holiday and we had a great time even though there were those moments of missing I.T. and it makes me crazy to think of the hole that will be through my heart, body and mind... no not even going to think about it. I know my mom reads my blog and so maybe its good mom that you realize I think of your cancer more than we talk about it and I will help you kick it's azz if we ever have to fight. For now we will all (that means daddy, douglas, etc) become more aware of our health and the need to cherish each day and that we are either adding to our life or taking away with from it.

Yes I feel self righteous right now because I just had one of my green drinks and they make me feel like I'm a healthy person even though I am not.

Some inspriration has come to mind: Here is a post I came across a few years ago: http://www.crazysexycancer.com/
Here is a book I just bought and will share with any of my friends/family that are interested when I'm done (I will screen it) : http://carolynrubenstein.com/

What I like about the book so far is it is full of survivors and most of them are young and something I think the young have going for them is that it never really occurs to them that they will ever die so they just keep going. Why do we have to get dumb as we age?

So yeah my early post which is old is saying how I'm in a funk, ill, stressed and not in the mood to be all happy happy - here are some good pictures of fun. I have a lot of stuff going on inside this melon and my mom's cancer is one of the many things swirling around making my eye twitch.

And don't pressure me to write in this thing, if I'm not in the right mood almost anything could come out and once its on the internet you can't take it back. You know that saying, If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. We'll that is boring but I'm trying to keep all the filters in their place.

When one of my other personalities make it out, there will be something lighter and uplifting to read. Until then...

What is there to say? I am boring. I have nothing to say that is nice so instead I will complain. It's starting to get cold and that tells my body it's time to hibernate but the world tells me I have to get out of bed and go to work.

My mom sent me this quote: "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain." I agree as long as it's warm rain. I hate the cold.

No, I'm not drinking those green drinks I mentioned in the previous entry. I was being ambitious instead today I had a chocolate milkshake. I am not organized and that always makes me irritable. I have not found my winter clothes so I only have 3 pairs of pants that reach my ankles, 1 pair of shoes that cover my toes and no long sleeve shirts.

You may be wondering what I have been doing instead of getting my crap done. I had a PJ party with my friend Nycole and we were suppose to work in her garden but instead slept in and watched movies. Today I have been watching cable on this big ole tv and reading blogs and looking at crap on the Internet on this big ole monitor at Bentley's and have lost all motivation to do anything. I think all this technology just makes you lose track of time and your brain and all the things you need to get done and you just sit here drooling and feel stupid for not getting stuff done and then overwhelmed by all the stuff that needs to be done and again - no motivation to get it done. THE COLD DOES NOT HELP.

I have to drive home and get ready for a stinkin 8:00 a.m. teleconference. I always have a hard time going to sleep on Sunday night I don't like to get up early and yes 7:00 a.m. is early for me, especially on Monday.

How Green Are You Willing To Go?

What does the word green mean to you? I think of Kermit the frog and how it's not easy being green. Then I skip to trees and spring time. The green movement has turned the word into a political debate. I think its about time we think more, get creative, stop being lazy, consume and dispose of less but it gets very overwhelming.

I have started to recycle more and that makes me feel much better. Bentley has a recycle center near his house so I save my glass, plastic, aluminum and clothes to take to his place. He is really into recycling and there are more ways that we are thinking about. He is going to start composting next and he buys his garbage bags for $1 each. Instead of paying $15 per month, he spends $3-$4 a month. The only negative with composting is keeping his dog out of it and so we are thinking about how to engineer it. I would be great for the garden we want to start next year. I love the idea of growing some veggies and how green is that. My grandmothers were pretty green so I keep trying to think of things they did.

I started drinking green drinks a few months ago and it was going pretty good until I started having a pain in my gut. I think I tried to change too much at one time and my body went into shock. So then I reverted back to my normal diet and this time I'm going to go a little slower. Did you know that kidney stones that are from calcium can come from leafy veggies - what the heck!

Mom and I were "drinking" a green drink and it was really more like trying to eat the stuff that cows regurgitate and re-eat. Yeah - need to blend it a little longer... with a little more water...and fruit.

I found a web site and it has a lot of good information not only on how to make green drinks better, but a lot of other green options. Don't think I feel off a turnip truck, I am loving meat and cooked food but I love when people who are very obsessed do all the work and share great ideas for eating better and it taste good. I'm all for OCD people and the benefits their research brings. http://happyfoody.com/

I will start my green drinks back and I want to do the month challenge to see if I can get rid of some of my sugar cravings. I'm a coke addict. I make myself only drink one from breakfast but if I get stressed it's one of the first things I want and then I start down the road of salt/sugar until I want to vomic.

Bentley is doing his fruit smoothie with protein powder for his breakfast and it makes him feel much better than his usual pork and gravy biscuit with hash browns and decaf. If he knew what happens to decaf he would freak. God pork and gravy biscuit sounds great right now.

I say that while I am sitting her with some of the worst heartburn I've had in maybe a year. I'm sipping ginger ale trying to burp so I won't die. For dinner I made hot sausage hoggies with green/red bell peppers and onions with fresh baked fries. Yes, I know how to feed a man so he loves me and wants to slap his mama but it can't be good for you. Especially when it makes you feel like Aliens 4 just started and you are looking for Sigourney Weaver to come and save you because Zantac and/or Tums is not going to do it. And now I'm thinking about pork and gravy. You know I need some extra strength green drinks!

The stones. They are still there. Not moving so the pain is down to a little ache every once in a while. I got some x-rays last week and met with my urologist twice. I get really ill when I have to wait forever and then when I get in the room with him and his white hair and beard and deep soothing voice makes all the irritation melt away and I'm so glad he is my doctor. Until the next time I have to sit in the waiting room.

He gave me my options and I voted for doing nothing until they move. He agreed and so I'll continue to be a walking time bomb for intense pain. I need some kind of container to take my 3 ounces of drugs on the plane. I am not going anywhere without the meds because I never know when its going to start again and I'm not going to be unprepared. Ohh yeah and don't forget the pee strainer. Wouldn't want to go any where without one of those.

I'm a mother to be... of stones.

Yes its true. I am now in the last trimester of my first and hopefully only experience with giving birth to stone babies. I thought I was going to deliver but no, my babies are not ready to come into the world. Here's what had happened...

I woke up having a nice morning, on time to work, didn't have to iron, pretty ok hair day without too much effort and my battery was dead. I won't start of the trek of anger that happened after that since JIFFY LUBE is at fault and it will send me off and that's not good for the babies.

So I called a co-worker/BFF to pick me up and take me to the office. I got there and started trying to get in touch with Jiffy Lube to give them an update on their customer's disappointment. No one answers the phone at the particular location. I had a quick meeting and started to feel some pain in my back, side, lower abdomen. Within the hour, I reminded myself that I no longer have an appendix. The pain continued and I informed my new manager that I would have to leave and have a ride to the urgent care. Within a few miles I realized I need to go to the EMERGENCY ROOM NOW. Its great having friends that you work with that can drive you but also know where stuff is.

She, Amelie was worried and I was getting worried. I was sweating and shaking and it was the first time I've thrown up from pain. It was not funny at the time but now I wish there had been a video camera in the ER room. I was upside down on the bed - writhing (my new favorite word) while 3 people helped me strip and get me turned around. Amelie has the worry gene and we all know its hard to watch those we love in pain so I was very thankful she did not see how much worse it got. Dang that was the worst feeling ever. I kept thinking how much worse can it get before I'll pass out. I am a dramatic person at times but I think others that have had these will confirm I am not being dramatic. For Real!

So, I got an IV of morphine QUICK and I was complimenting the nurse that put the IV in whilst I was writhing and screaming - "MAKE IT STOP!!!". "Wow that was the best IV I've ever gotten." "MAKE IT STOP!". "Please get something in the IV - she did a great job now put something in it." "MAKE IT STOP!!!!!"I never saw the exorcist but I believe I have lived it. Yes a video would have been fun.

They informed me that I was having a text book case of kidney stones and they would confirm with a CAT scan as soon as the drugs kicked in.

The Good News: They are all small enough to pass on my own
The Bad News: There are multiples and still some up in the kidney
The Good News: With the level of pain you should be passing them soon
The Bad News: You will be passing them at home which means no more morphine
The Good News: We will give you some good drugs
The Bad News: They may not be strong enough
The Good News: You can come back and we'll hook you up

Ok - well its been 3 days and no stone babies have been delivered. I thought for sure my mucus plug had come out and my water must have broken so what is the delay? How can I induce this labor and delivery?

I have aches and at times pain but not the extreme pain so I guess that means they have stopped moving around. I can't feel them kicking anymore. I know its going to hurt but I really just want to git it over with.

No my babies will not be cute, smooth little stones like you find at the beach. I hear they are the equivalent of barb wire without the fence post. I don't really care. I just want them out of me. I've got all my drugs ready and I have been drinking enough water to kill a fish. I have peed in a strainer so much that I'm a pro now and will soon be attempting to pee on a tree through a strainer.

I will be registering at Stones R Us so get your credit card ready.

Hippo Sighting

It was strange to see a hippo at Sweetwater Creek. Coco did so good especially considering how out of shape he is and that we went out further than we planned. There were some areas that he really had to climb rocks and stuff. The only thing that saved him was the water breaks. He would just sink in, rest and drink. He doesn't do well with heat. He has been sore and we've been giving him little massages so he's doing better. We met a lot of other people with their dogs. He gets a little alpha but did good when meeting his canine friends. People kept asking what kind of dog he is and after saying it over and over we decided to just say he is really a bear since he looks like one of those more than anything.

He's a mutt but shows the signs of a bull mastif and a chow. He weighs about 90 lbs and is really sweet. Needy but sweet.

Ohh yeah and very territorial. He will kill anything that comes in his yard that is smaller than him (except for his boxer girlfriend, GiGi). He has 5 acres to his name and he walks the perimeter on the regular. There is a sign in the drive that says BEWARE OF DOG. I wish I knew how to write the sign for the true audience that needs to know but I don't know how to speak or write, rabbit, bird, mole, squirrel, etc.

Sweet

We went to Sweetwater Creek and it was beautiful. There will be another state park coming next year. We love state parks and hope to see many more. You have to watch Bentley thought because he will bite off more than I want to chew.

Love the smell of freshly cut grass...

and i thought I liked freshly cut grass. Maybe not since I'm not going to roll around in it. I don't know about you, I have loved this summer and the cool mornings reminding me that its going to end soon make me sad. I sit in air conditioning so cold I have to wear a sweater and turn on a little space heater at times so I don't suffer the heat very much. I dread the dark afternoons and the cold. I miss having summers off to sleep late and watch The Love Boat. Recently I borrowed a copy of a Carol Burnette show special from the library and laughed till I cried. I love that show and I want the box set. I started reminiscing the other shows and how much tv has changed.

My daddy would watch the Muppet Show with us and loved the two old farts that sat in the balcony. We would laugh and I would try to karate chop my brother like Miss Piggy did Kermit. Ohh the good ole days. Bentley and I went through a list of our old favorites and it was funny how many good memories they brought up. Now its hard to find shows that everyone can watch and enjoy. I can't handle the shows that start with a dead body. There are so many of them and its a good sign that something has gone wrong.

I know reality shows are silly in many ways and people act like you're dumb to watch them but I love watching - So You Think You Can Dance, American Idol, Whatever that one is that has stars dancing. At least its something positive that you feel good when you watch these people do something that requires work and talent because some of these other shows make you feel bad.

Example - Sitcoms are all about a stupid man and a wife that is mean to him. Just cause that can be reality for many and people can relate (its even funny sometimes) I don't ever really feel good watching them. Some of the shows like Lost cause a bad reaction because I get so freaked and anxious with all the mysterious music that I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin. Plus I just want to know the end and it better be good and they drag it out too long. Like Hero - that started good - save the cheerleader - god - do it already. What happened I just gave up.

I have @10 channels and 3 of them are PBS. There is always something good on. Did you know that the terracotta soldiers in China were built for the King to have an army in his after life and it was a secret and was never meant to be found and the people that built them were buried with the soldiers. Yep.

Nesting

My girlfriend Amelie recently had a screened in room added to her house. I went over to check it out and while inspecting our new nesting ground, I was pleasantly surprised when is saw this nest. Sweet - right in the middle of a rose bush. I hear its all about location. Obviously it has been vacated but its a cute little home.

I love the addition and we sat outside listening to the night, watching the candles flicker and catching up on our points of interest.

I think birds nest are really interesting creations. Its funny how similar we are in our instincts to pick a good location for view and security, add soft materials and ensure food is close by.

Pass Test...Check

Bentley completed 2 test in 2 months and didn't take a course or have an instructor of any kind. I tried looking at the materials and it was way over my head. Yep, he's smart. We are really relieved and I'm so proud. Now he can relax a little and stop studying. There has been a huge weight lifted. YIPPEEE

Last Beach Post - Promise

Before and after pictures.

The first one was the first night and I was tight and pale and trying to relax on the dock, listening to music drinking my first margarita and squeezin my lil Page.

The second picture was taken a couple of nights later hanging out listening to my lil brother strum some tunes on the porch and beyond relaxed with a little bit of pink. No worries.

My mom and daddy ROCK for making sure we always get a trip together. They make it so easy for us coming from different places and we move in and make the little cottage home. There are so many places on this planet I would love to see but this place is hard to beat and I think it has a lot to do with the company.

The only thing missing was my Bentley. He couldn't switch his vacation and he's in the middle of studying for qualification tests. He was missed and it sucks being a grown up but he'll plan to come on a future trip.

Bonus Round

A great treat about this trip was my buddy Ann and her family were able to stay a few days and hang out with us. Hanging out with Ann, Lil Ann, Issac and Lee was so much fun and even though it was tough being at the cottage without I.T. and going through the memories we had a great time together.

Atlantic Ocean is the best

The water is so warm toward the end of the summer you could stay in it all day. The rip tide makes it impossible to really do that since you are exhausted from fighting the with waves. The life guards were working hard and we made sure to stay right in front of them so they could give us some added protection. Page was able to catch up with a friend for one night and they had a blast at the beach. I was impressed with their boogie board abilities.

Food is always a fun part of our trips

Hey little crab, sorry you walked into our trap and found yourself snatched up and thrown into a pot of hot water. I know its no constellation but you were delicious. I think this lasagna weighed 5 lbs... at least. Leah made it and I didn't go to the bathroom for a week. ok kidding but that's a lot of cheese. Yum Yum.

This sweet little beer came from a little tea/beer house a few towns over from us. http://teaandbeer.com/

Last and most importantly, we had daddy's famous BBQ chicken with all the fixins. Words don't describe the sauce and his grilling techniques. It was so good, I almost slapped my momma...but not quite. We did good to cook a lot in the beginning of the week so we could eat left overs the rest of the week.

It makes my mouth water just thinking about it. Yes i always gain weight after family vacations and I don't care :)

All Net

My lil brother is learning to catch bait and has gotten really good at it. This was not the best throw but the funniest with daddy adding the heat. So much fun at the beach, I'll try to capture some of it.

July is Sublime

I have many fun things going on during the month of July. My friend Raph is in town. We are hanging out. He has a favorite place to go where the chicks are pretty and the drinks are good and we can sit outside and people watch. We try to go at least once during his visits. He lives in Brussels and comes to town for work.

He's one of my smart friends I can count on to tell me interesting things like how far a penguin can shoot his poop. Never know when those little tid bits of information may come in handy.

You may be looking at this picture and wondering what is he doing to my eye. More interesting news about me. I had a muscle in my eyelid move a little and now it doesn't always respond to my blinks. It is only noticable in pictures... for the most part and this is how it will stay since I'm not interested in surgery. It can become a pain the in the buttocks to get a picture with both my eyes open, he decided to help me out. Nice.

This picture is a couple of years old from our trip to Switzerland.

Mr Green Jeans

Did you ever watch Captain Kangaroo? I have small, faded memories of that show and I'm not sure why, but I loved Mr Green Jeans.

I have my very own Mr Green Jeans...Ray. Here is a picture of this year's garden. I love the bamboo and of course the bounty of his work. It makes me happy when he talks about it and I visualize him walking around talking to his lovelies and wipping the sweat from his brow. Just this week he was telling me how he believes bunnies have developed the technology needed to teleport. hee hee

One of my goals to have a veggie garden and it will take time but I'm building my support system so that once I get my ducks in a row and it happens I will have plenty of people to learn from and hopefully have a good experience.

I have identified the plot and once Bentley gets the tree's that have huge X marks on them removed, I'll be one step closer. The trees are really close to the house and they are really tall so he has to hire someone to remove them. Really. The sun will flood in and the next step will be stump removal. I watched a show that talked about an organism you put on the stump and then plant a flower box on top and presto in a few months the stump will be disolved. (no I don't ever believe anything that ends in presto but its an idea)

Since Bentley has the good ole Georgia clay for soil we will be creating container gardens. We will bring out our Mr Green Jeans to provide some guidance. It will be a while and I get giddy everytime I think about it.

If you ain't scared...you ain't paying attention

I love that saying and I think of it often when I attend our family reunion. I remember when I was a little girl, my mother and her sisters would get together every so many years to have pictures taken. These are some very cool picture because they are all beautiful and they would always end up in the same pose and so we have a great record of them all together through the years. Us chilluns were smart enough to be scared when the sisters got together for these pictures because these women could become E-V-I-L in a matter of seconds and when they are all together it can be volcanic. Its a similar feeling at reunions.

This year we didn't have all our women together but last year we did and it was great. The food is always awesome and this year my mama made the family chocolate bread puddin and the corn puddin. We also had potato salad and bbq pork tenderloin - it makes my mouth water just to think of it. We had tables of food and sweet tea and took over Aunt Eunis' yard to eat, laugh and catch up.

I have quite a few characters in my family and I love it. Normal people are boring. The best part is, all of us think we are the normal ones yet how could that be. I think its a good thing that we are all touched with a little bit of crazy (some more than others). It keeps the boogie man away because he's smart enough not to get too close.

One of my fav men just playin with the kids like always. And one of my fav women takin care of him...Ahhh family.

The Country

I spent a day at the farm with my friends. I love it there. I lived on the farm for a little more than 4 years and its a beautiful place. It was such a good day in the country snuggling with "Biscuit" and hanging out with my loves.

Look at her sweet cheeks and she is the best baby EVER really I don't know what kind of pills Anne was taking but I think all expecting mom's need the hook up because this baby girl is pure sugar.

We had onion dip, margaritas, pizza, etc. Some of our favs. You notice no sign of Page or Isaac and its because they were off playing together without a peep. We don't completely understand why these two little people connect the way they do, and we don't question it, instead we go with it.

Anne got some chickens and recently realized that one of them came with a little more than she realized. Watch out there's a man on the loose.

I got to visit with Mae (I.T.'s wife) and I cherish my time with her. As the night went on we noticed that Lee (Anne's hubby and Mae's son) was moving so fast he was a blur, he finally took a shower, sat down - whew. I have miss my friends and I felt recharged!

The Crocodile Hunter Will Never Die

I fell in love with Steve the Crocodile Hunter when he first hit the US and even bought an alligator to go on my charm bracelet. Little did I know that one day I would find an alligator here in the Chattahoochee.

Ray and I were going for a walk after work and as we crossed the bridge he noticed our friend. We were shocked since its kind of cool in these parts for the cold blooded dinosaurs.

I grabbed my camera and got some shots for Ray to submit to the local news. Ray went back to the river for an interview, he aired at 10:00 p.m. that night, and our careers have exploded. He is the reporter and I'm the photographer and now that I've had some influence on the news I'm on the look out for our next story.

Mostly Mutts

This weekend Bentley and I went to a very cool charity sale for Mostly Mutts http://www.mostlymutts.org/ . My friend Amelie is a volunteer and told us about it. I was excited to find the candle holder and come home to clean it up. I like everything about the treasure hunt but this was especially nice to know the money would go to animals in need. Amelie and Bentley have the tender heart for animals in common like no other people I know. Like Bob Barker always says, "Don't forget to spade and neuter."

one of my favorite places with one of my favorite people

My dear loved one, I.T. died on Thursday night. I don't know the world without him and don't really want to. I will take a trip in a couple of weeks to stay at the farm and visit with friends that are family. I found this picture from a beach trip in 2007. I will always think of him when I think about the ocean and all the beautiful views there at at the farm. He has touched so many and been such a big part of my world and I am going to miss him.

Shrewsberry is the place to be

There was lobster.

Soccer...
Tae Kwon Do...

More Soccer...

And lots of luvin on some cute little girls. I visited my friend Janette her hubby and little ones, Alexis and Parnell. We had great weather and lots of fun. It had been too long and I miss them already. Janette and I got to do a little catch up over some pink lemonade and pom vodka (yum yum).

Awkward Family Photos

I wanted to share this site I came across because I have laughed, cried and giggled and remembered and laughed and I hope you will too. If you don't find it funny, maybe you should lighten up alittle. http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

Vacation in Familyville

Bentley and I headed up to my brother's for a quick vacation. We drove the beautiful route through the mountains and got there in time for dinner. My Leah made her awesome lasagna and we all ate until we had pasta coma. My Bentley and Daddy got to meet for the first time and I think they were both happy about how easily they got a long. The weather was great and we were all in a relaxed mood to just hang out on the porch, drink beer/wine and enjoy the view and each other. We went to a river bank and had a quick picnic. We were visited by a big ole snake and noticed the cows came down for a quick dip. We stopped in a little town for an antique find (my train travel case and embrodered pillow cases) mom also snuck a little blue flower pin in to my goodie bag. Then off for milkshakes/ice cream in a little store that has a cool front porch and rocking chairs. Leah's cousin came by for dinner and provided me and mom with some massages and it was official, I was relaxed.

They live in the country and its beautiful. It was a fun weekend and hopefully we'll have many more.

The Butterfly Bar

When you've been so busy that you forget to pee and eat there are no better words to hear from a fun friend - Let's get a few drinks and hang out.

I'm always a fan of the Long Island Ice Tea and of course a good ole Margarita is hard to beat.

Spring makes me want to sit on a deck (any deck) and sip some kind of icy cold wicked drink and watch the world bloom. Butterflies are a bonus.

If you want to get some butterflies drunk, put out some mangos and banana's that have been sliced open. I urge you to be a responsible adult and post some signs that that friends don't let friends drink and fly.

Speechless Time Two

I lost everything I typed for my speech. So I had to start over and it was easier to do something new than to torture myself recreating and trying to make it just right...so all that was for nothing - see - I could have just procrastinated and only written one speech today instead of two in two days. Instead of doing what you love - I did a speech on Reuse, Reduce & Recycle. I had some props and some help from a colleague. It went really well considering I put the speech together at 2, practices at 4 and provided the speech at 7ish. I always come back to it being 5 minutes of my life and I can talk about almost anything for 5 minutes. Bentley heard me practice and was scared for me but was impressed with my ability to bluff when it came time to get in front of everyone. I love when I am underestimated even with love.

Speechless

Last week was one that consumed all of my energy and left me with nothing by the end of the day/week. I was still suffering with a pain deep in my abdomen and everything at work was beyond crazy. I did go to the doctor but of course who knows and we are waiting on blood test that will probably not show anything wrong. It has gotten better and its probably just a stress symptom. So last Monday night at Toastmasters I agreed to do a speech. Little did I know, the week would be insane and today is the first day I've really thought about it. The meeting is tomorrow night. So yes, I'm a little pressed and here I am procrastinating writing on this thing instead of writing my speech. I am a world class procrastinator and I'll admit some of it is a strategy instead of just laziness. I've noticed sometimes when I'm procrastinating it's because something in my subconscious is telling me that I don't need to do it because its a waste of time or not important. Priorities change and all the work you did turns out to be for nothing. Sometimes... not always procrastinating is good. I procrastinate in many small ways too - like getting out of bed at the last possible moment and rushing for work so that if one little thing goes wrong, I'm late. That is one the ways I hate that I procrastinate. Amelie was telling recently how she gets up at 4 and sits down to have breakfast and she is up over 2 hours before she leaves for work. WOW i have always wished to be a morning person but not enough to force myself to get up and therefore I'm just not one.

So back to procrastination. I can honestly say I have not procrastinated up until this point on this speech but now I'm starting to think and I'm overwhelmed and its just not fun like it should be. I did just agree on the topic and that is a starting point. In a way I work good under pressure but this is a little ridiculous. The topic/title is "Do what you love and the money will follow". I am working on Get To The Point. This speech will be (hopefully) inspirational. I am going to talk about authors that have inspired me and how I strive to have more creative time. I really believe that if you do things you love, and open yourself to the possibilities, you can find a way to make money doing what you love. I haven't completely figured it out. I have to admit that I do love many parts of my current job and feel good about my contribution. I do have the opportunity to be creative some times. I also think that doing other creative things on the side is good because sometimes if you become dependant on making money at the creative things you like it can ruin it for you so there has to be a balance.

My brother is an artist and I'm very thankful that he has a 9-5 job and he seems to like his J-O-B and learns a lot but its not his passion for art, performance or music. Its a way to be safe and maintain your family finances, and I think there are opportunities to make some extra money doing the side passions. I am working hard to keep my job and learn as much as I can and I admit I have not made much time for creativity. The Toastmaster's adventure itself is an avenue I'm on to learn and try something new that could contribute to me doing what I love. I want to get more art into it and something about springtime really does make me what to spread my wings a little. I am going to work hard to manage my stress better and make more time for the creative expressions I need. So even typing this now has turned from procrastination into me thinking through some of my speech. Now off to type the real thing.

Spring Break

We went to Callaway to take Page for a picnic and bike ride. Thank goodness for the trailer bike. She loved it and I bet its the fastest she has ever been on a bike. I was relieved when Bentley didn't have a heart attack pulling her around for hours. She spent most of her time admiring nature and telling him to go faster. It was a beautiful day and we all had a blast - of course we were exhausted when it was time to go home. Page and I went to the Aqurium again - she will remember this trip much better than the last one. We painted pottery and watched many many movies, read books and she even went with me to my dermatogolist appointment where she pointed out a mole to ensure he saw them all. When they asked her if it was weird she said, "No, I see her naked" and just went back to her game.

Page is a photographer and was given her own digital camera which of course is pink. Callaway was a great place for her to collect some moments.

Bentle got to meet this part of my family for the first time when we headed over to the French bakery nearby. It's one of my favorite places and I was glad to share it. Kurt and Leah started their "adult" trip and we took Page to practice her skating. Bentley later told me its when he fell in love with her. She made us laugh so hard it was hard not to pee and we were both in tears. She was working so hard her heart felt like a rabbits when a wolf appears. I know because at one point I had to hold her while Bentley fixed her skate. She made huge improvements in the small amount of time we were at the trail.

I was very excited to have Page come and visit during her spring break. My lil brother and sister-in-law came down and spent the night on their way to Florida and dropped Page off. We did lots of fun stuff and just being together is fun enough for me. My lil apartment was stretched but we all fit and slept just fine.

it's been so long I almost forgot my password

So I had all these entries and just lost interest in them...delete. Love that key. I am just going to start today and enter whatever pops in my head before I head out. Back to my word for the year : Grateful. I am grateful that I survived another drive home without incident. I am grateful that I got positive news about my mom's cancer and even though waiting is crazy, I'd rather wait because everything is good instead of action which would be heading into a treatment schedule. I am grateful that biscuit does not have downs and is growing and laughing and helping my dear friend come into her own as a stay at home mom. I am grateful that my boyfriend cooked dinner tonight and is napping because he needs some zzzzs. I am grateful that I had lots of time with my niece, my family and that my boyfriend got to meet more of them. I am grateful that all my laundry is done. I am grateful for the beautiful weather we had today and that spring is coming in more and more each day. I hate to admit it here but I'm grateful for white tank tops and t-shirts since they are my favorite and I have them on now (what's better than 1 white t-shirt? getting to wear 2 at the same time). I am grateful for a massage I got over the weekend even though my back is sore from it. I am grateful that my stomach stops hurting when I lay down even though I'm not sure why it hurts or what I'm going to do tomorrow if it hurts while I'm at work. Maybe I'll just sneak over to the other building that has a sofa in the locker room and lay down - Ok now I'm grateful for the sofa in the locker room. I'm grateful that I have no meetings tomorrow. I am grateful that everyone in my family can get back to a normal routine even if we will all think about cancer each day. I am grateful we are here to think about it. Good Night.

Amsterdam How I Feel You

Memories fill my mind of the fun travels I've had. I took this picture from a side of a building and honestly the color blue always speaks to me. The canals were so beautiful and all the bike trails were awesome but you had to pay attention. We ended up on one of those paddle boats and in the wrong canal but we finally made it back. Once I start laughing it gets dangerous when I'm driving. Who is the we? One of my dear friends, now living in Africa, gave me so many great experiences in Europe and I really hope to one day join her in her home to see where she is from. I miss her so I go through my pictures and have to relive our excursions. Thanks Chantal! I miss you. I will find a picture of the infamous Chantal and add more.

I think Amsterdam was my favorite city that I've visited. Paris would be a strong contender if I had not gotten sooo sick on that trip and missed so much of it. I loved Switzerland because of the beautiful countryside and hiking.

During our trip to Amsterdam, we went to a theater that was some kind of old. It was beautiful and we snuck in from the rain and caught a movie with Dutch, French & English. We walked that city so many times and it was pretty easy to get around. There were some beautiful women working and many coffee houses but nothing too extreme but of course I was only in the red light district during the day.

Toastmasters Please

If we could ever align the stars so we could be there the night the guy who has to take our money and give us our manual we could probably do it. So our first speech will be Ice Breaker and we are both really looking forward to getting started. Its one of the things on our list of things to do together. We like the group we are in the club with. We'll see how we progress.

The Soup Nazi

It's my new name around the Bentley household. I have been making lots of soup and plan to continue. He is on the kick of looking for opportunities for a side business and after the soup I made last night he wants to start a soup kitchen here in his home. I say - "No Soup For You!"

Last night I made Tuscan Sausage and Bean Soup. Last week it was my mom & dad's recipe for Beef & Veggie soup with grilled cheese and it was so good they even had to make some because they could smell it from Georgia. I've made the Bake Potato Soup and I think the next one will be...Mexican Chicken-Tortilla.

At work we have a little cafe and there are usually 2 soups daily. When I have to buy my lunch I usually get a salad and soup. My fav is the broccoli and cheese. I am also addicted to the Hot & Sour Soup at China Express in NC. When I go home I have to go get me some because I've never had any better and I've tried a lot of place in ATL and still can't find something comparable. I have a recipe for it and I'm going to give it a shot when I get brave.

When I would go to the Belgium office they get free soup and everyone I ever tried was great and then to be free - I couldn't handle it. So there its true, I love soup. (Better Homes & Gardens Soups & Stews has a lot of great ideas)

Beads, Pearls and a Southern Twist

I love all the colors and ideas swirling around for making jewelry. Went to a local class and there was only one other lady in attendance and she was a self proclaimed Southern Belle. Even though she's from OHIO she informed me that she graduated from Southern Belle school and has converted because she loves it here. She passed my test and I really enjoyed her. We both learned a lot and made some cool necklaces. Her name was Pearl and I have to say her mother did set her on the right track to be southern with that name. Of course pearls are her signature and we both loved all the pearls in the variety of colors and shapes that are available now.

My mother gave me her pearls. They are in need for re-stringing and look pretty dingy. I took them apart and cleaned them and now I'm waiting for the class to learn how to do the knots to put them back together. I'm pretty excited about them and wish I had done this earlier - they've been sitting in a drawer for years and that just not good for pearls.

I listened to a book about GRITS/Pearls - a big ole southern etiquette kind of thing. It was read by the author and it was an interesting book. Its funny how much is ingrained in you as a kid that doesn't know there is any other way but Southern hospitality. As I listened I thought, "who needs to read this - doesn't everyone just know these things?" Sad to say I have met a few people that could use this book but it wouldn't make any difference. One big thing I have learned in my 37 years :) Some people will never get it and common sense is not something that can be learned - you either have it or you don't. A colleague/friend of mine informed me that I am suffering from chronic common sense and always complimented me on my ability to use my intuition and common sense to provide insight into his dilemmas. Yes its true I am a guru. Whatever... the powers of a southern woman should never be underestimated... its a fact, but we are nothing if not humble. One of the biggest things you can learn from a southern woman is that pearls and diamonds may be forever but hugs and a good meal can solve many problems (if those don't work a swift kick in the pants usually does the trick).

Birthday + Anniversary

Bentley and I met on a blind date the day before my birthday 2 years ago. Happy Anniversary to us.

January has always been a month of reflection and goal setting for me. I wonder if people that don't have a birthday in January go by their birthdate or January to welcome a new year. Now I add our anniversary as another subject of reflection to the mix. Its a lot to think about. We had a great anniversary and after last year we are both grateful to be together and getting along so well. There is something about your birthdate that makes you want to take advantage of each day and live to the fullest.

I don't think about my actual age very much and a friend at work pointed out that when she was 37, she had a 19 year old daughter and 18 year old son. I had to sit down. I could not imagine it. I also had a conversation with a 17 year old girl working at Merle Norman (I was getting a facial) and she explained how she tans and lays in a tanning bed... but its ok because her mom does it too... and it hasn't aged her... how she looks young. Then she informed me that her mom is 38 - I had that moment of "She looks young because she is young" DUH! I could hear my mom laughing in my head.

I remember my mom very vividly when she was my age. I was 12 when she was 37 and I have always felt my mom was the most beautiful woman ever. I guess most little girls do. I guess some of my comfort with age is because my mom didn't seem to have issues with it and I'm sure that helps. I have always wanted to enjoy the age I am and even when I was little I didn't rush too much. Now I look forward to my 40s and I'm not afraid. I really think life just gets better and I recognize I need to take better care of myself and be prepared. I have been warned by my GiGi that getting older is not for sissies. I believe her since I had one of my first feelings of - "OUCH my knee - what the heck..." I hear stuff starts falling apart after 40 so the way I see it, I'm going to enjoy the next three years and make sure I have good insurance.