bummer

I won't go into much about my working life here but today was a big ole bummer. I spent 2 + days getting ready to provide a full day of training. Its my favorite course and I arrived early pumped and excited only to find a note that all conference rooms are confiscated due to announcements. So bad news is the training had to be postponed and the good news is that I still have a job. It was a really stressful day but it could have been worse. Good days and bad. That's Life.

SARK ROCKS

I have to report on yesterday because it was fabulous.

First off, I slept in a little and got some extra zzzs which for me is sweet as honeysuckles because, me do love the sleep. I worked late Monday night and felt great relief on Tuesday. My to do list greatly reduced and shoulders dropped I took a break for lunch and decided to go to the "boutique". For the rest of the world, the "boutique" is called Goodwill. I had some great finds - 2 cool bags. One is Kate Spade and the other Alfani. Even though I’m not a brand ho I still like the idea of an expensive, good quality, bag in great shape for $2.59. Its probably my favorite form of recycling. Rich people use something once, discard and I purchase for 99% of the original cost and their fad becomes my favorite for years to come. But that is not even the best part of my Tuesday, even though on most days it would do it for me.

SARK (http://www.planetsark.com/). I put it on my calendar the second I saw Atlanta on her book tour. I’ve been ‘bout to pee myself wanting to meet her. It finally happened last night. I listened to her tell stories and felt that same feeling that I felt the first time I picked up her book and knew I had to have it and more. I went to her inspiration line just to hear her voice so I would hear her when I read and last night it was like I could read her book with my eyes closed because she was there. So yes it was everything I imagined it to be and I’m not putting her on a pedestal – Instead it was what I imagined… she is so human that it makes the magic she brings something attainable for everyone. Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy brought the SARK energy into a small room of women and we were all captivated and enthralled and inspired. I wrote everything down so that I recount it for my friends and I will probably put it here one day but for now I have to move on the rest of my incredible Tuesday. So the workshop ended and I was in line to meet Susan and have SARK sign my book – Juicy Pens Thirsty Paper. I was kind of in a daze doing some people watching and when I looked up there was My Ray. Early I left him a VM – "I’m going to be on your side of town, at this location, for this event and would love to catch you if it's not too late… Call me". I had become so engrossed in SARK that I was surprised to see him walk in. He came over and loved being the beacon of man in the room. He brought veggies from his garden, bought Prosperity Pie and joined me in line. He laughed while telling me I was glowing and I think he could tell I was beaming to be there and that he joined me. SO we got to SARK and she told me she would let the Superhero know I wore my necklace. SARK deemed My Ray a Succulent Wild Man – I could have told him that but it’s almost like being made a Knight by a King.

Then we were off to get some margaritas and snacks so we could discuss SARK and catch up on our worlds.

Something I have to point out is that Ray also came along just in time to save me from walking .5 mile to my car in the rainy darkness alone. I don’t usually go to unfamiliar places alone at night but it had to be done. I got a little turned around so there was no good parking and I realized it would be dark when I came out. I just gave up and switched to my faithful flip flops that would not be hurt by flood (its been pouring like crazy) and grabbed the beach umbrella that took up the entire side walk. I trekked to the event telling myself I would figure out how to get back in the dark without karate. The answer was My Ray. Just before going into the building, there was a huge Rainbow to welcome us. Fabulous I know.

Something else I have to point out. I called my boyfriend to let him know I would not be getting raped so he could relax. I did a quick recap of my great Tuesday and Bentley could hear my carefree happiness. Even though he was wishing he could escape his reality for a little while to have some fun – he says "I’m so glad you are having fun", sent a shout out to Ray and the best part is… he really means it. It reminds me of how much easier it is to be in a relationship with someone who gets me and has no need to control/change me in order to make himself feel important. How many people are jealous if their partner is having a good time without them? How many people are too insecure & threatened for their partner to love and enjoy other people/interests? My boyfriend is thankful for my friends and interests because he says I’m too intense for one person and he could never be everything to me. I respect a person that knows their limitations. Seriously – I appreciate being accepted and loved just as jacked up as I am. Like I tell him – no need to fight it – it’s bigger than the both of us.

I got home and fell into bed with a smile on my face and read until I was out.

So to sum it up in a few words – Tuesday Rocked! Chhhuuu – over.

Back to real life

I can tell I'm not the best at this blogging stuff. As much as I like to talk, journal, write, etc. I'm surprised that I so easily forget this thing. I went to the beach with my family and it was a great break. The picture was taken while I was out on the boat with my daddy and niece, Page. It took me @ 3 days to start relaxing and of course by the time I started to really exhale, it was time to pack up and leave. Now I'm back at work and Page has started school. I miss my family and our time already. Good news is that I have scheduled massages for tomorrow and I'm hopeful it will help. I realize that so far I haven't really introduced myself and I'll work on that in the future. I guess for now I'm just writing to be writing and have not figured out the impact of someone else potentially reading it - esp someone that doesn't already know me - so I'll get to it eventually.

There are so many things going on good, bad & ugly and I know the blogs I enjoy the most discuss all the real things not just surface and I am going to wrap my mind around writing about them. I have recently read the blogs of people that have used this forum to work through illness and loss. It seems to really benefit them and I have learned from their expressions & experience.

The beach was a nice break from the caretaking that I am helping my boyfriend provide to his mother. She has colon cancer that has metastasized. I think the word metastasized brings up horrible visuals for me and I can't pronounce it correctly...unless I hear someone else do it first. We met with Hospice last week and they have started working to make her more comfortable and help us care for her. It's a new experience for us and we are struggling. Just last night we had no sleep and much frustration and then effort to get centered on what is important. We are determined to make some moments of peace, relaxation, health, positivity during this difficult time (as much as we can control anyway).

I have used writing to work my stuff out since I was a young girl and I guess my hesitation to do it publicly is when I see comments open and so many hurtful, ugly things written. The first time I let someone read one of my journals was earlier this year when I wrote every night while my boyfriend was in the hospital. I let him read it and actually wrote it not only to quiet my mind but to record what he was missing while on life support. It was one of my ways to assure him (and myself) that he was going to survive to read it. I told him it was there along with pictures I had taken and that he was welcome to it if he chooses. He waited and eventually did. I believe writing that for the both of us really did help me through and I hope it made the experience easier for him to process since he could read and see what really happened while he was away 8+ days.

So I'll give it a shot to write knowing other can read it and see what happens. Yikes.

Like a virgin

I feel like I'm breaking a seal by starting a blog. I hear the rush of air. This will be a little experiment before I invest too much time. Not sure what I expect since I am usually only interested in reading blogs. Today I am also learning ITunes and revamping my Ipod at the same time so it may not be wise to attempt two new technologies at the same time. I also haven't taken any time to think about what I want to write or what I will use this for. I already write journals and make endless lists so I'll just wing it.