2010 Word

Last year the word came easy to me and it was Grateful. I have never been one to do new year resolutions and it would be depressing to start but I do like having a word or phrase that I focus on during the year. It's kind of a mantra/motto and reminds me of what I want to improve on in a simple and direct way.

It has taken me a while to find the right word for this year and even longer to share it here. I spent some time on my B-day thinking about year 37 and what I want in 38. My word is Present. There are a couple of reasons why.

Last year I was really busy with work and had a lot of new challenges that were, well, challenges but good ones. After dealing with so much illness and death the year before it was nice to be really focused at work. The problem is when you are still not taking care of yourself because you are allowing yourself to be too busy to think or plan or prioritize its the same result: exhaustion, survival mode, lack of personal goals and crashing during down time. I want to be more present because I want to be forced to recognize when I'm allowing work to be too much or I'm eating junk or I'm spending too much time staring at the tv. I want to work smarter instead of faster. I want to slow down and be more balanced with spending time doing things I want instead of the long list of things I think I have to do first before I take a walk, get groceries, read a book, hang out with friends, etc.

I see where I made excuses for myself and I want to make better choices. In order to do that I think I have to be present... more often. Slow down and feel, breathe and sink into the moment. Enjoy what is going on no matter what it is and give each facet my full attention. Even taking a shower - stop thinking about 100 things I need to do when I get to the office and instead think - WOW this shampoo smells yummy and YEAH this hot water feels good and there is nothing better than how the heat vent pours over my robe that has been washed 2,000 times and even though I'm not a morning person I want to be there in that moment.

I also want to improve on being present when I listen. I come from a lot of fast talking, faster thinking and dramatic females. It was the norm to interrupt each other and it really isn't to be rude but just pure excitement in the conversation and the worry that if you don't get it out you will forget. We also have a bit of dementia in the family history too.

I want to stop that and be more giving and present with the people that I have dialogue with. Give more full attention and not drift off into other thoughts or lists. Allow all of my conveyors the floor without me saying a word until they have completed their thought. I will be more present of my behaviour and be a recipient.

Another reason I like the word is because of that saying "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that's why we call it the present." I hope keeping this word in the front of my mind will help me to appreciate the value of each day.

Something you might find fun if you too like to pick a word each year : Click here for your 2010 Word of the Year Worksheet. I went through this worksheet with Bentley and his word this year is Action.

To truly be present right now I'd have to share with you that Coco just farted and I think he ate a dead squirrel because I am about to dry heave. Thanks Coco for adding to the moment.

One Space At A Time

Bentley and I are in the process of painting the inside of his entire house and doing small upgrades/remodeling. He has lived here a while but has not changed anything for many reasons: caretaker for Bebe; which lead to limited $, time, motivation, energy, etc. Now he is like a machine and is we are going space by space to do what is reasonable with the limitations we have: limited $, time, energy, etc.

This is the foyer and we didn't think to take before pictures until we had already removed a ton of weird molding, applique, and hooks. But you can get an idea.

Before



After. I love the light. Before it had a gold base and he painted it a dark brown/black. The glass is super heavy so here is your warning when you walk in to wear a hard hat just in case we didn't reattach it properly.

The color is Butter Cookie. It's hard to see in a picture but it's a warm yellow and you can see hint of peach. We love it and are going to paint the foyer, hallways, and living room this color.


I won't go into the mix of style and taste the original owners had. It's not that it's an ugly chandelier but it's a ranch house and this is just one of 3 chandeliers in the house. Let me know if you want them because they are free.





We replaced them and this is what the hallway got. Cheap and simple. We both lean toward the arts and crafts style and will be mixing it with other styles here and there. It's already a big difference and now he is really motivated to keep going.




The flip side to these projects is something difficult so we are taking that part slow. We started with the bathroom his mom used for the 3+ years she lived with him. We have painted it Ripe Wheat but haven't finished putting up the mirror and just finished mopping so I don't have pictures yet for that. Painting and cleaning is the easy part. The hard part is going through Bebe's things. It has been over a year and he has not been ready and I have not pushed at all. Now that we are working on the house, it has to be done. I started it and told him I would just throw out what was obvious and leave a basket for him to sort.

I had no problems with the colostomy bag supplies but then I opened a small box with her handkerchief and make-up and all I could do was sob. Of course Bentley hears me and thinks I have cut myself on something or... something and is almost yelling, "What's wrong with you!!" When I could finally talk he just sulked off - "That's why I don't want to do this!!!". When it was his turn and he did good. There are still 2 rooms that have her things in them and we'll get to them eventually. The plan is to do the same again. Sort and keep what he wants to keep now. I remind him we can box it all up and he can let more of it go later or never. She didn't have many things and left most of her possessions at her old house with her other son.

It's hard when you are making changes and cleaning out but throw this on top of it and it's even more emotional. Like I said, we are taking it one space at a time and at this pace we'll have the whole house done just in time for spring.

One of my manly Beasts

Coco has taken over the sofa and the best that can be done is to put a bunch of blankets on it to provide a funk barrier. He recently went to the vet for his shots and to have a place on his tail checked. The diagnosis is he has too much testosterone and is experiencing some male pattern baldness. He is a manly and macho dog and the good part of that is he is protective of his people. The bad part is he at times get confused and thinks he is the pack leader and then he and I go around. You have to pick your battles...

Retro TV Dinner

My friend Amelie made me a TV dinner to try. She goes on different kicks and right now she is in the 50's. She is addicted to Mad Men and recently purchased a pen on a chain to wear to work. After going through some recipe's from that time she decided to do a retro TV dinner. She designed the tray and filled it with goodies. I had instructions to take from freezer. Cook in preheated oven at 450 degrees for 30 minutes. It was delicious and fun, especially the cherries.

Its' hard to tell in the picture what the bottom two trays contain. Left is brown rice and right is salmon with a sauce she made up.

I love when she gets inspired...you never know what will happen. This time I pulled out a little TV tray and had a nice little meal with no fuss.

Guess who I Gent to IM with?

A couple of weeks ago I was checking my yahoo account and was surprised to see under my "buddy list" Chantal was online. I thought, "Could she really be right there and I can talk to her?". Yep she was and we did. It was great. I haven't seen her in person in years.

I know she is happy to be home and she's having many adventures and that helps but I do miss her.
My job changed last year and now I don't travel much at all. I use to go to Europe at least twice a year and I would plan extra time to visit with Chantal and visit different cities/countries. I look at the pictures from our trips so I can keep her face in my mind and our memories together fresh. I'll share with you a few pictures from Gent, Belgium.

I never get tired of the cities with canals. So beautiful.

The Siblings

Miya and Hiro get to visit when Kurt and I get to visit. We get along kind the same as Miya and Hiro. When we were younger we were just close enough in age to get on each others nerves and now that we don't live together everyday we enjoy our visits.







Now that we are "adults" we are definitely on the same team instead of struggling for our independence of each other. He of course gave me the best gift I have ever gotten and that is this little smidgen of love.











She is mine and I am just letting them raise her. Something she and I have in common is the love of...

SLEEP.

I have been taking pictures of her sleeping since she was born. She doesn't have a sibling and I guess its not too late but I don't think the parents are planning to give her one. I think it will work out fine either way.

I'm glad I've got mine. He has a lot of strengths that I don't have, that I want to learn and I'm glad he's teaching some of them to my little one.

Ocean vs. Biscuit - not a hard decision

I am just now getting around to the pictures from the trip we took over the Thanksgiving break. It was one of those that it was so cold that we didn't make it to the ocean. We did a lot of shopping which was fun. The highlight of the entire trip was playing this this little one, Anne a.k.a. Biscuit. I wonder if she be called that in high school. It seems to work for her though because she is about as sweet as a biscuit with honey poured on it.

I love the age - just before 1 and she is crawling and make all kinds of crazy faces and noises. She is one of those babies that is a pleasure and just goes with the flow.

This trip we had some fun at a local bar on the waterfront and my new fav drink is "pain killer". I believe it to be the first time a marketing claim was honest because after 4 I was feeling no pain. I was making faces just like Biscuit. Luckily we had our 20 year old designated driver. Thanks Renee!

Just going through these pictures makes me miss my fam and friends. I will be crazy with work until April/May and then I hope to get to see everyone and I bet Biscuit will be walking.

Bentley didn't get to go on this trip but hey, he got a t-shirt. (Thanks mom) It's his new favorite. Don't you love new favorites. You might notice the Life is Good theme running through this entry. I love the brand and wish I could find one like Biscuit's for myself.

Life is good. http://www.lifeisgood.com/