Good Bye 2008

This has been one of the hardest years of my life. I know I learned a lot and there were some good times but overall I'm glad this year is over and I'm ready to move on. I am so wanting for 2009 to be positive and refreshing. Instead of doing a reflection and trying to feel moved in some way - find the silver lining, etc. I'm just going to drop kick it and say Good Bye.

I prefer to think about 2009 and all the new adventures ahead.

The holiday break started out really good. I spent time with Bentley, headed home for a few days to visit my family and friends and got back in time for New Years at home. I spent the last day of the year crying my eyes out.

I was heading home on 31 Dec and received the call that my friend Ann had given birth to her little girl. I was feeling down that I wouldn't get to see "biscuit" fresh outta the oven and started thinking about flying home for a quick weekend to drop in. My mom called a couple of hours later and asked me to pull over and that loud voice in my head screamed, "NO - its not fair" since I knew it was the baby. The doctors are 90% sure she has Down Syndrome. We have to wait over a week to get the confirmation. We cried for so many reasons: fear of the unknown, heartache because they went through so much losing one of their twins with the first birth, fear if the baby is going to be okay, heartache for them since the worst thing in the world is for your baby to suffer, fear of the extra caretaking involved and how would they add one more thing to their plate and once I got home it all broke lose. I hurt for my girlfriend, her little one, and her family.

I did get to speak with Ann and she was exhausted from the delivery, exhiliration of her new little one and the anxiety of what does it mean? Is she okay? We were thinking how can you be so happy and thankful for this gift and so upset at the same time. We are hopeful the tests will come back that she is not Down but either way I hope she is healthy.

I know once we all learn more and get to have time snuggling with "biscuit" everything will be okay. I'm leaving behind the sadness and moving on to being grateful for the opportunity to love a new little girl and all the new things I'll learn from her.

My word for 2009 - Grateful