Bebe's memorial went really good. It was a beautiful day and just the kind of day she loved. Autumn happens to be her favorite time of year. We put together a fall flower arrangement and had just enough flowers/plants delivered to make a nice presentation with her pictures and urn. Bentley and I put together a slide show and music and it all felt just right. The service was simple and casual and was held at the chapel of the orphanage she was raised at. The land was beautiful. The Pastor from Hospice did the MC and eulogy and we were pleased with how that went. Bentley actually got up and shared several things his mother taught him and did an incredible job. I was not only impressed with how sound and clear he was in expressing himself but how he was able to talk without losing it. It was the last sentense that I felt go through me – "I loved her and I will miss her". There was just a little catch in his voice and I was biting my lip. A fellow orphan stood and shared how funny Bebe was and a man that as a boy grew up down the street, shared how much he enjoyed dinner at their house.
We both wanted it to be a day of happy memories and he even picked a version of Amazing Grace that was uplifting. There were things I wanted to say but after listening to him I knew it would make me cry to talk and I didn’t want to break the mood.
He talked about she found a wallet with @ 1K in it and the first thing she did was find the identification card and call to return it. She taught him that lying is too much work and its impossible to keep up with everything you lied about so its better to just tell the truth. She used humor and taught him that it will get you through the toughest situations. The next to the last slide has a picture of Bentley’s backyard and I added that his backyard was a place of peace for her. He told everyone to remember that picture because she cleared the land and worked hard to make it look like that. They would ask her at her chemo treatments if she felt tired and she would tell them that she was a little since she couldn’t clear as much land as usual.
I later told him in the car since it was only important to me that he know how I felt about his mother. But I’ll share it here to as my little tribute to Bebe:
“I met her a few times last year but we quickly bonded while I stayed with Bentley in the hospital back in March. We talked for hours everyday and of course it was about his condition but we also exchanged stories and got to know each other. She trusted me to take care of him and I trusted her to take care of the 2 things he cared most about, herself and Coco.
After bringing Bentley home from the hospital, Bebe had a stroke and later an allergic reaction to a treatment. I spent more and more time at Bentley’s house to help take care of her. I feel honored that she allowed me to be with her at the end of her life.
She taught me a lot in a short period of time about Life and Death. She taught me a lot about Bentley and what kind of man he is. I learned a lot about myself and what it means to be a strong woman. When I think of her, she will remind me that the simple pleasures like working in the yard, reading a book and telling stories over hot wings can bring happiness and peace even in difficult times.
I wish I had known her under different circumstances but I am thankful for the time I had with her.”
Bentley’s nephew came and brought his sweet little girl. That was very special and I was glad to meet them. We had a few friends & colleagues come and afterwards we spent some time outside enjoying the view, catching up and laughing. We were really proud of the service and felt it was just like she would have wanted because everyone left with a smile.
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