Done

Mom is done with all of this. She has felt horrible for over 6 months now and has decided to stop treatment. I am relieved and hopeful she will feel better by the weekend. I am so glad the PICC Line is gone - that thing made me nervous. I think she made the best decision and I know we are all ready for her to really recover. It's emotional for us all b/c its been too much for her and its horrible for all of us that love her to witness and have so little we can do to help. It's beyond words. Words are too simple for the feelings felt when someone you love has had cancer and gone through so much to get rid of it and even when everything is good to be left with the worry that all cancer survivors (and their family & friends) feel. Today she moves in the right direction and tomorrow will be a better day.

Listening: to the dishwasher running
Feeling: Excited mom will be better during my next visit and we can do something fun with Page.
Need: to sleep - we'll see
Thinking: I have no idea what I'm wearing tomorrow and I wish it were PJ's
Enjoying:American Idol - its good this year
Wondering: Why I extend myself to certain people... again. Its like I can't help it and then I regret it. At times I am cold and it is easy to maintain a distance - then others I forget and allow myself to be open and friendly - the battle begins. Its hard to fight yourself but you have to come to terms that not everyone deserves to be apart of your life, more specific your real life. Stop wasting your energy and save it for those that matter. Deep, yes I know. One of my friends told me I am generous and should never change and i appreciate that but we agree it should be limited to people that appreciate it and ARE STABLE. It's also interesting the filters you forget about and how there are times removing them is needed like when someone crosses the line or is insulting. I'm installing a quick release button on my filters so watch out.
Hoping: The book I just started will be really good b/c its HUGE
Internet Finds: Nothing - there was nothing found today.